AreYouSureThatYouRemember/Chapter_16.md

Chapter 16

Michael had ideas. He thought that instead of just simply telling people about his Dopamine rush idea, he could instead sell it to other people as means to get out of depression. But first, Michael needed depressed people.

There were depressed people, but the problem was to actually find them. He realised that part of the selling is knowing people. Or least having a place where you invite who-ever. The store that sold his hand-made toys was open to anybody to enter into it. And looked like a store. He doesn't look like a store. If he wants to sell his information, he needs to talk to people. To convince them to buy something from him. And it will require knowing them first.

Does he place an ad? What does he do? First there is an issue of the ad itself. What kind of ad? Is it a poster? Is it an animation on the mega-net? How many people will be interested in an ad to begin with?

In the time when Michael lived, forceful advertisement did not exist. People had to choose to look at an ad. A lot of people had their devices configured in such a way that anything remotely ad-like will be blocked. They could look for things in the mega-net. And only if they are actively looking for something, they usually found it. Even printing posters and gluing it to the structures was not guaranteed to work. People often wore eye-pieces that could be configured to block those as well. Or they could just never notice the paper.

But, Michael thought, not all people block ads. And perhaps with the population of the planet, the percentage of those people, whatever it was, could be big enough to find him some customers. He remembered that along the lines of eighty percent of people were not computer literate. This means that they would probably not setup an ad blocker. So he could publish something to some mega-net forums.

There was still a possibility to buy advertisement from popular mega-net-sites. But it usually was costly since instead of just putting your poster to their sites, the mega-net-site would actually produce a piece about you. In such a way that nobody will even sense an advertisement. It was needed to overcome blockers. And it was needed so people will feel true value in the entire piece. Those kinds of ads were marvelously done. And almost nobody ever noticed them. Apart from computer literate people, of course. But even they admired the art of it.

There was a way to contact one mega-net individual that was operating a business of his own. Roughly at the same area as Michael. Well... Quite frankly in this area there were two. One of which he didn't want to ever meet. The other one was selling fart exercises. Yes. He was selling an information about a healthy way of farting.

Michael thought for a second that this could mean that either his customers are not depressed, since they appreciate the sense of humour. Or that they are so stupid that they think there is such a thing as a "Healthier farts". Anyway he made a call.

The person didn't have an avatar. He was a muscled man, somewhere in his twenties, with a great, blond moustache and a long, blond hair. His chin was shaved, but he left the sideburns on him. His three-dimensional scanned view appeared in life feed in Michael's room.

"Hello..." - the man said, reading the name of Michael's avatar for a second - "... ah... Drunk Monkey. Drunk is very nice. I love being drunk. I can tell you so many things about drinking. For example, here is a good drink-releasing fart.". The man took his right leg up and caught it with his hand. He sat half way on his left leg and farted. The man continued - "Would you like to learn how to do it?"

Michael had to concentrate all his energy at not laughing. He said - "Well, quite frankly, I'm here for an advertisement. Do you make them?"

"I can fart you into people's minds like nobody else can."

"I figured."

"It's okay to laugh" - the blond man said. Michael laughed - "Okay" - he said.

"What are you selling?" - the blond man asked. Michael thought for a second that if he reveals what he is selling, what are the chances that the blond man will cooperate? There should be a way to tell him about it without telling him about it.

"I sell happiness to people in depression." - said Michael - "It's not related to farting, but could be related."

"What is it exactly? How do I tell people about it?"

"Well, the 'exactly' part is what I'm selling."

"Ah..." - the blond man thought about it - "I have a farting idea...". Michael thought of how terrible his fart-puns were. The man continued - "A mystery cure for depression from the Drunken Monkey. Is it a reference to the classic tales of Panda Kung-Fu?"

"What?"

"Jackie Chan? He voiced the Monkey in Panda Kung-fu, in two thousand and eight. And also played the iconic Drunken Master."

"I'm not interested in ancient cinema."

"Perhaps it's a farting coincidence."

"Is it possible to make an ad about me? And what it would cost?"

The blond set his price. Michael thought about it. Calculating how much money he had left. And how much money will he have if he would pay it. He thought that it would cut through to his eating habit. The monthly universal basic income thing was received not so long ago. So it would mean living with almost no food for about a month. He thought about what kind of diet it would require to place an ad like this and how good this man even is in making an ad. He seemed too stupid for it. But does he have any choice? Of course he has a choice, Michael thought, a choice not to do this business to begin with.

"So..." - demanded the man.

Michael was faced with a terrible decision. Terrible, terrible decision. He started sweating from how terrible it would be. But what if it would work? What if he would sell people the idea and they would buy it? This will solve his eating problems. Think... think... I need to give an answer now!

"Yes" - Michael said. And the deal was made.